Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
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mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
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I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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