Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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