i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
