he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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