I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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