just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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