You're so nebulous sometimes
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
