k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You pole danced in your parka.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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