why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
