Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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