Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
