we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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