I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
