i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
