Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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