she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Are we still banned from the library?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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