Tell her she can't have a vagina
We need to rekindle our bromance
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
