My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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