And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
