physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
