At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
