Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Still dying that you shit outside
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
