On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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