Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
