Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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