I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
