Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
