I wish I could teleport
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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