I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
