too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize