with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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