Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
