Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
