hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
