I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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