I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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