So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
