Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
