So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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