I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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