Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
