I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
