You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
