i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
