The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
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You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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