we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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