Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
