found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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