she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Randomize