Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
