you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
