Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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