So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
