Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
