We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my being single is dangerous.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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