apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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