This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize