Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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