i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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