Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize