i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
