Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
